"Friends" is an F word

https://soundcloud.com/rubyhaunt/destroyer

*Start reading when you hear the drums play at 0:15 seconds*

*Pace your reading with the music*

*If you’re in a hurry, don’t even bother reading, you’ll ruin the experience*

If you’re a girl and you have an older sister, it’s impossible to never have her iconized as a child.

You wanted to wear your hair like she did, apply the same shade of blue on your eyelids, and even wear her heels out at the age of seven.

I have a twenty four year old sister who is five years older than me

Aside of all the things I admired about her, I’ve always wanted to have a group of friends similar to hers.

She met them in preschool, went to university with them, and still goes out with them today on a daily basis.

I mean yeah the group had sized down in the past couple of years, but when they all reunite, it’s like nothing ever separated them in the first place.

They have their ups and downs, but most importantly they have each other’s respect.

The case has always been different for me, I’ve never had a group of friends that is as sturdy and long-lived as hers.

In first grade, I had trouble meeting girlfriends, so I only hung out with the boys in my class.

I cannot deny the strong presence of certain people in my life, those whom I am still in contact with today.

I have great appreciation for those who you can stop talking to for years and once you guys finally talk, there’s no hard feelings.

This song playing is by a duo mini band called Ruby haunt- also known as haunt.

They met in middle school and through their chemistry, they managed to pull off the most minimal, yet aesthetic production.

---

Wyatt sings:

It's something I could never confront

How to navigate disaster

Sweetheart, come undone

I'm handing you the dagger

Then he repeats the word Destroyer like fifty times

*Wait for him to stop*

*enjoy this part it’s good*

Victor Pakpour and Wyatt Ininns. "Ruby Haunt"

Good song

Very minimal

But good

That was a little break by the way

Now it got way too off-topic

Proceeding

*drums again*

In university, the friendships I have built are very different than those I’ve had in school.

We are all so different,

Different backgrounds, mindsets, and lives.

No one knows much about the other, we only know what everyone knows…

To be more specific, what everyone talks about.

Who was she with?

What was she wearing?

What car does she drive?

Whose ex-girlfriend is she?

Is she single?

Destroyer

I’ve settled to a group of girls that I find myself pretty comfortable around

But you know when you get punched way too many times in the past you never know when you’re about to receive the next blow?

Destroyer

This is exactly how it is

For all I know, we stand up for each other, we stick together, we fight a lot and exit groups, then we rejoin them, we either talk it out, or pretend like nothing ever happened the next day and plan a girls night out.

We're so confusing it's funny

I love my pack

but the feeling of it all being at risk never goes away.